


The morning after

by PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson



Series: Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Arguments, Chronic Pain, Fluff, Insecure Steve Rogers, M/M, Making Up, Period-Typical Homophobia, Podfic Welcome, Protective Bucky Barnes, Self-Sacrificing Steve Rogers, Sharing Pain, Sick Steve Rogers, Telepathic Bond, Transformative Works Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22088920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson/pseuds/PerplexinglyParadoxialPerson
Summary: Or: Bucky finds out about Steve’s chronic pain (and some other things)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586707
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	The morning after

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place right after chapter two of where you go I will go, where you stay I will stay. The only reason that it isn’t in the story is because it’s in Bucky’s POV, and the story will be all in Steve’s POV. The next chapter will still be posted later tonight, this does not take the place of chapter three.
> 
> So yesterday I realized that this one-shot, which I have been planning for a while, wasn’t written, and I wanted it out before the next chapter. I wrote and edited this in two days, so constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> Lastly, words in single quotation marks ‘this’ is words spoken to each other mentally. Please enjoy!

When Bucky woke up, the first thing he noticed was the pain. A tight ache in his chest, a twinge in his back, and a faint headache. The pain felt wrong though, like it was far away somehow. What had he done to feel this much pain? All he remembered was... bonding with Steve!

But... why couldn’t he feel Steve? Had something happened?

His heart began to pump harder, breath coming faster. He sat up, looking at Steve who... began to stir.

‘Wha-‘ Steve said, ‘wha’s wrong Bucky?’

He was feeling Steve’s emotions again! It had just been because he was asleep!

“Sorry Stevie” he said, relaxing again. “I couldn’t feel your emotions while you were asleep, I got worried.”

Steve opened his eyes a crack. ‘It definitely wasn’t just worry, I’m pretty sure that your fear woke me up!’

“Sorry,” Bucky said, then realized, Steve’s lips hadn’t been moving while he was talking. “Steve!” He said, awed, “I think you’re talking to me with your mind!”

“Really!” Steve said opening his eyes fully.

Bucky concentrated, and pushed the words, ‘not anymore, but now I’m doing it!’

‘Wow!’ Steve pushed, ‘so we can talk in our minds now!’

He sat up, and the ache in Bucky’s chest sharpened, then Steve began to cough, and the ache in his chest sharpened with each cough. The pain in his chest-the pain that he had woken up with-that was Steve’s pain! That was how Steve had woken up, and he hadn’t even reacted!

After Steve had stopped coughing he pushed, ‘what’s wrong Bucky?’

‘I...’ Bucky pushed. ‘Why are you in so much pain? You didn’t even react to it.’

Steve went pale, and he felt a surge of worry from Steve, who pushed, ‘you... You can feel it. You can feel all this pain? I knew I shouldn’t have let you bond our souls, I knew I would regret it eventually, I just didn’t think it would be this soon!’

The words felt like a punch to the gut.

‘You...’ he pushed. ‘You don’t want to be bonded to me?’

Steve stared at him for a second, then sent so much love to him, pushing, ‘I do! God I do, your my favourite person! And that’s why I knew I would regret it. Because I know I'm gonna die young, I know I’m gonna be constantly sick. Honestly... some days I barely feel the pain I’m so used to it, but it’s pretty much always there. Because of me and this broken down body, you’re always gonna be in pain, and you’re gonna die way too young. You shouldn’t ever have to be in this much pain! You deserve to have a long and pain free life!’

‘And you don’t?’ Bucky pushed, ‘your _my_ favourite person and you don’t deserve it either!’

‘But you can avoid it!’ Steve pushed, ‘I can’t get rid of it, but if I had convinced you to not go through with it, then you wouldn’t have to deal with it at all!’

Bucky looked at the clock and pushed blandly, ‘I’m almost late for work, but either way, it’s already done. We can’t do anything about it now.’

He stood up and grabbed a slice of slightly stale bread from the kitchen.

‘I love you,’ he pushed, pulling on his clothes. ‘Try to stay in bed, I know exactly how much your chest hurts. And eat something for God’s sake!’

He ran out the door, bread still in his mouth. He could feel Steve’s annoyance and anger, but sent love to him. Steve sent love back, almost grudgingly.

Once Bucky had made it down a block he felt Steve’s emotions disappear.

He stopped in his tracks, about to turn back, damn his job, but he felt a faint sense of fear from Steve. The bond was fainter, not gone. He sent more love to Steve, being jostled by the people hurrying past him, but felt the fear dissipating, being replaced by love.

He began to run again, he needed to make it to the docks in good time. He was probably late, and he really did not want to lose his job on top of them being thrown out of his parents house only a month earlier.

The whole time he was shifting crates, he was thinking of Steve, tugging at the thread of the bond occasionally, already missing Steve’s thoughts in his head. Steve was probably missing him too, because once in a while he would get an answering tug on the bond. John, who was the guy that he was the closest to in his section, asked whether he was ok or not. Apparently he had been moving around like he was injured. He told John that he had probably just tweaked something yesterday. He had actually been feeling Steve’s pain, dampened by the distance, and easier to ignore then his own pain, but still unpleasant.

The day was way too long, especially with the minimal breakfast he had had, but he knew that they couldn’t afford more food until payday, which was a few days away. They had to stretch what food they had.

Coming back into their neighbourhood, and back in range was like stepping into a warm bath, Steve’s love washing over him. When he made it back to the apartment, he flopped face-down onto the bed next to Steve, who was sitting up and sketching.

‘What’chu doin’ Stevie’ he pushed, rolling over and looking at him.

‘You know that drawing job I got before I got sick?’ Steve pushed, ‘well it’s due today, so if I finish it soon, I can get the money for it and we can get some food.’

‘That’s awesome Steve!’ Bucky pushed, thinking. ‘Was it that the job for Mr. Goldberg? The advertisement for his shop?’

‘Yeah,’ Steve pushed. ‘I already had some ideas sketched out, I just needed to finish the one I had decided on.’

‘Good’ Bucky pushed, ‘I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me when you’re done.’

It was easy to fall asleep, the exhaustion from the day pulling him into a deep sleep. He woke up groggy, Steve shaking him awake.

‘Wha...’ he pushed, opening his eyes to a darker room.

‘Hey,’ Steve pushed, ‘I’m done now. I know that I wouldn’t be able to get it there on time, could you deliver it for me?’

‘Of course,’ Bucky pushed, pulling himself up. ‘While I’m there I can pick up some food.’

‘That’d be great,’ Steve pushed, pecking him on the cheek.

Bucky grabbed his coat and pushed, ‘once I get home we should talk about this morning. It wouldn’t be a good idea to leave it at that.’

‘Ok,’ Steve pushed nervously. ‘Once you get home.’

Going out of range this time was less worrying and painful, and Mr. Goldberg had been so grateful for the “incredible” picture, that Bucky had gotten a minor discount. He had been able to get enough food that they could both eat decently this week.

He got home, and Steve was in the kitchen stirring a pot of porridge on the stove. Bucky pecked a kiss on Steve’s cheek, and began putting the food away. Once they had finished their supper, they both sat on their bed, facing each other.

‘I’m sorry,’ Steve pushed. ‘I... just said what came in my head, and I hurt you. I didn’t mean to say that I don’t care for you.’

‘It’s ok,’ Bucky pushed, ‘I definitely understand better why you’re so tired and annoyed all the time. I didn’t even know that you were in pain all the time. I thought that the bad days were days that you were in pain, but now I’m pretty sure that those were days where the pain was extra bad.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve pushed. ‘I got used to a certain amount of pain, so it got easier to bear. You shouldn’t have to get used to it, but if your reaction this morning was anything to base it on, you won’t back down on that.’

‘Not a chance,’ Bucky pushed, pulling Steve into a hug. ‘We’ll just have to agree to disagree.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve pushed. ‘But we’d better get to bed if you want to make it to work in the morning.’

‘Uhg,’ Bucky pushed, ‘we probably should.’

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some info on the timeline:  
> First Steve’s mom dies,  
> Then he moves in with Bucky and his parents,  
> Then they get kicked out of the house because they find out about Stucky somehow, (will probably be written eventually)  
> Then they find an apartment on their own,  
> Then Steve gets sick and they bond.
> 
> Because they just got kicked out with little if any money saved up, they are very poor at this point. They do end up ok for money though!


End file.
